Dance Dance Like No One is Watching

Last week marked the 8 year anniversary of my sister's passing onto glory. It's always a rough time of year for me, and I can really start to sense it when the time changes and the days get longer, as it happened at around 8:30 at night and it was still daytime. It's always tough for me to think about that day, how I spent it and how I had no idea of what was going to be happening and how the lives of my family were going to change so drastically. My brother surprised my mom on the 28, the anniversary, by coming home from Ontario and in honour of this day, my family came to our place for dinner. Mom and I got sent home early from the greenhouse and Mom came home with me and together we made fresh tomato soup and fresh buns for dinner - Kees's favourite. After dinner we hung around, either outside getting a breath of 'fresh air' as my smoking brothers like to call it and playing a game. I took a video and and want to upload it here so my Mom and sister can watch - and anyone else who happens to visit this little space of mine :)

I tried to upload the video, but right now it won't work. I will try again later.

Camia brings such joy to my family and keeps everyone in good spirits - most of the time. Her innocence sometimes catches me off guard and I want to protect her from anything that will hurt her or damage her in any way. I understand that this is impossible, and even if I did accomplish this, it's can't possibly do her any good because I'm told that going through things makes a person stronger. I sometimes still struggle to see the benefit of my sister's death. I often don't see that it's made any of us stronger. Somehow I remember from my youth, and I can't find it in the Bible, that God will turn things to our benefit if we remain faithful. I was also expressly told by my grandparents that it was sinful to question God's motives. Encouraged by human error, I often question the reason, the benefit, the why my sister had to die so young, and so tragically.

My comfort is found in Lord's Day 1, what is my only comfort in life and death? That I am not my own but belong in life and death, in body and soul, to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

I am going to give my daughter a hug. Just because I can.